You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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