what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
