Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
