I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
