Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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