I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
