Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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