i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
