RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
