how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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