I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
