god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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