Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
