i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
