Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hippo gnu deer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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