According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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