i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
