porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
