just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They have beer where we have blood.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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