I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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