Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
