AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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