Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
