he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
