Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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