If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
