are you still at the devil's house?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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