hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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