4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize