So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
