Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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