What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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