Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
