I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
