dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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