yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize