What did we do last night that was yellow?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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