No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
