There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
