Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
