Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
