do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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