I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
bring money and cleavage
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
