That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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