9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
