Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize