her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize