I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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