I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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