Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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