then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
