who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
time to smoke my breakfast
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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