I think i sorta joined a cult last night
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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