Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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